


The True Ninja Doesn't Make a Splash At All

by rsconne



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Actress!Clarke, Clexa Week, Crack, F/F, Fluff, Mutual Pining, Ninja!Lexa, american ninja warrior au, obstacle courses, really it's just eyefucking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2019-03-24 18:13:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13816698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rsconne/pseuds/rsconne
Summary: Clarke's guest hosting stint on American Ninja Warrior takes an unexpected turn when professional rockclimber and Ninja Warrior phenom Lexa Woods hits the course.Clexa Week 2018 Day 3: At Work





	The True Ninja Doesn't Make a Splash At All

**Author's Note:**

> The Ninja Warrior AU that maybe one person ever asked for.

"Welcome back to _American Ninja Warrior_!  I’m Matt Iseman!”

“And I’m Akbar Gbaja-Biamila!  Joining us in the booth for our next group of competitors is the star of NBC’s hit new drama, _Don’t Fear the Reapers_ , Clarke Griffin!”

The crowd cheered and Clarke waved and gave a big smile.  “Great to be here!”

“Now, on the show, your character has some pretty wild action scenes.  Do you do your own stunts?”  Akbar asked. 

Clarke laughed.  “No, I wish I could.  They let me do some of the simpler ones, but a lot of them are too dangerous for anyone but professional stuntpeople.” 

“We hear you’re a huge Ninja Warrior fan, Clarke,” Matt chimed in. 

“Oh, totally!  I’ve been following it since season 4, I think.”  Loud applause went up from the crowd and Clarke raised her arms to encourage it.

“Now, do you have any favorite ninjas?”

“Oh, I love them all, obviously, but favorites…I’d have to say Jessie Graff, of course.”  The audience cheered and clapped again.  “I know, right?  Wonder Woman!  And then probably Geoff Britten.  The Weatherman was _so close_ last season!  Meghan Martin’s had some great runs.  And the Cowboy Ninja.  There’s so many, Matt, they’re all amazing competitors.” 

“Well, we’ve got some amazing competitors coming up,” Akbar announced.  “Next on the course we have a parkour instructor who knits sweaters for three-legged kittens when he’s not training for Ninja Warrior.”

Clarke turned her attention to the course and joined in with Akbar’s and Matt’s play-by-play commentary.  The network had asked her to do the guest spot in order to promote her new show, but it truly hadn’t been a hard sell.  She genuinely loved the show.  She’d almost called to pull some strings with her producer when she’d heard Ninja Warrior was taping in Denver while her own show was filming in the nearby Rockies, but then this appearance fell in her lap.  Sure, some of the costumes and the props were schlocky and corny—literally, even.  Clarke shook her head as she recalled the ninja who completed the course and then whipped out a corn dog and took a bite.  But while the trappings might be hokey, the contestants themselves were no joke.  Many of them were former decorated collegiate athletes, and the courses—which increased in difficulty every season—required monumental physical and mental strength and endurance. 

This year’s Denver course was something of a greatest hits of classic Ninja Warrior obstacles.  Contestants began by traversing the Floating Steps, a series of elevated platforms spaced several feet apart.  It was followed in quick succession by the Log Grip, a sort of hanging zipline with sudden drops; the Jumping Spider, a test of core strength that essentially required contestants to balance themselves in a split with their hands and legs and move up and through a Plexiglas chute; and the Log Roll and I-Beam Hang, obstacles that challenged contestants’ agility, balance, and grip strength.  The course finished up with the competition’s two signature obstacles: the Salmon Ladder, and the Warped Wall, newly raised to fourteen and a half feet.  Except for the Warped Wall, all of the other obstacles were suspended over giant pools of water, so that contestants who failed ended up taking a swim.

The parkour-knitter splashed out on the third obstacle, the Jumping Spider.  One of Akbar’s trademark bad puns ushered him off the set.  Several more would-be ninjas followed in rapid succession: a dumpster diving hippie who lived in a van (down by the river), a 65-year-old with the muscles of a man half his age, who was vying to become the oldest Ninja Warrior course finisher, and a competitor in a tuxedo who styled himself the “Rico Suave Ninja.”  The senior citizen advanced further than anyone expected, but only the dumpster diver successfully completed the course.  His victory celebration atop the Warped Wall sent the crowd into a frenzy.  Clarke winked and gave him a big thumbs-up, and he hammed it up for the camera by pretending to swoon.

“Our next competitor is new to the Ninja Warrior scene, but she’s made quite a name for herself as one of the top-ranked rock climbers in the world.  She’s already regarded as one of the top female contestants this season, and she’s got a real shot to make it all the way to nationals to tackle Mount Midoriyama!”

“That’s right, Matt, some people have called her the next Jessie Graff.  Let’s have a big hand for Lexa Woods!”

Clarke was standing in the booth right next to the hosts, but afterward, for the life of her, she couldn’t remember a single word they’d said.  When Lexa stepped onto the platform it was as if her sheer presence sucked all the oxygen out of the arena.  She was just a little older than Clarke, in her late twenties.  She wasn’t especially tall, but she carried herself with a calm stillness that projected confidence and authority.  A few wisps of light brown hair frizzed at her temples, but the rest of her thick mane was tamed into a ponytail.  The resolute concentration on her face only enhanced the beauty of her delicately arched brow and high cheekbones. She wore nothing but a black sports bra, skimpy, dark green nylon running shorts that barely touched her thighs, and lightweight climbing shoes.  And her body…Christ on a cracker, her _body_ ….  Her lithe frame was slender, yet deceptively muscular.  Her biceps and triceps rippled as she shook out her arms in preparation for her run, and even from a distance, Clarke could make out the definition of her six pack at rest.  Clarke swallowed hard and fumbled for her water bottle, because there was no way she could talk with such a thick tongue and dry mouth.

Once the clock kicked off and Lexa began her run, time seemed to slow down.  Clarke’s vision telescoped on Lexa.  She bounded nimbly over the Floating Steps with the grace of a gazelle and moved easily to the next test, the Log Grip.  She wrapped her long legs around the base of the log and locked her ankles to brace for the zipline’s jolting descent.  Clarke began to sweat thinking about that iron grip clamped firmly around her hips…or perhaps squeezing in sinuous rhythm around her ears….

Lexa advanced to the next obstacle, where she bounced off the trampoline and stuck a perfect landing in the well of the Jumping Spider.  Clarke vaguely registered Matt’s and Akbar’s animated chatter about Lexa becoming one of only a handful of women to successfully navigate the apparatus.  How was she supposed to concentrate when Lexa’s strong thighs were spread almost in a split, and each little shift as she worked her way up and through the chute made her taut abs tense and quiver with effort?  Clarke zoned out, picturing those thighs spread wide and willing beneath her own body, warm and trembling with need as she inched her tongue down the smooth demarcation of Lexa’s v-cut…. _Fuck_ …. 

By the time Clarke snapped out of her explicit daydream, Lexa had tiptoed across the Log Roll, and the universe was simultaneously benevolent and utterly cruel and unfair, because the next obstacle was the Salmon Ladder and Clarke could not _deal_.  Lexa hung from the overhead bar like it was nothing, her arms locked in perfect ‘L’s.  Matt’s and Akbar’s excitement grew with each rung she ascended, but Clarke was so focused she couldn’t even hear them because _Lexa was doing the fucking Salmon Ladder_ , and _holy fucking shit_.  She rotated her pelvis forward in a little grind to generate momentum, and her upper back muscles flexed and released with each effortless upward leap.  Clarke was grateful that the cameras were trained on the course and not on her, because she was _so_ fucking turned on.  She squirmed in her seat and pressed her thighs together in a futile effort to relieve the burgeoning pulse of desire between her legs.  

Lexa’s adorable grin and emphatic gestures at the audience to get on their feet riled up the crowd and did absolutely nothing to tamp down Clarke’s arousal.  She took another feverish gulp of water to soothe her parched throat and marveled at how warm it felt on this early spring evening. 

Lexa moved quickly and methodically through the I-Beam Hang, an obstacle uniquely suited to her strengths as a rock climber.  With just one obstacle remaining, Lexa could clearly almost taste victory.  She took a few moments to enjoy herself, playing to the cameras and crowd, and showing off her body control and grip strength.  She dismounted the beam with a cocky little flourish and moved to the culmination of the event: the Warped Wall.

Clarke clapped her hands and joined in the crowd’s chant of “Beat the Wall!”  Lexa bounced on the balls of her feet and set her jaw in determination.  She sprinted at the wall, pumped her legs hard, reached, stretched…and _just_ latched on to the top with her fingertips.  A wide smile split her face as she held on with one hand and pumped her other fist in the air in exultation before pulling herself the rest of the way up.  She crossed the finish line and smacked the buzzer with vigor.  She threw both hands overhead in victory and the crowd launched into a frenzy of cheers.  Akbar and Matt were beside themselves with shouts of amazement.  Clarke only had eyes for Lexa and her jubilant grin as she savored her accomplishment. 

The crowd noise abated and Clarke distantly heard Matt announce that Kristine Leahy was standing by on the sideline with Lexa.  Clarke cut him off.  “Actually, Matt, why don’t I take this one?”  She’d already ripped off her body mic and climbed halfway down from the elevated booth before Matt could even respond.  Once on the ground, she dashed over to where Lexa was waiting to be interviewed.  She elbowed an indignant Kristine out of the way and practically snatched the mic out of her hand.  She turned to face Lexa…and froze. 

Lexa was beautiful from a distance, but in person she was heartstopping.  She was still breathing a little heavily and her pulse ticked quickly at her throat from her surging adrenaline.  She had a scarlet POM Wonderful towel draped over one shoulder and her skin glowed pink from the exertion.  A fine gloss of sweat pooled in the hollow of her collarbone and coated the swell of her breasts.  Clarke’s mouth watered at the thought of slowly tonguing away its salty kick.  Clarke’s zero chill evaporated to negative chill when she finally saw Lexa’s face up close.  The view from the booth didn’t do justice to Lexa’s deep, mossy green eyes and kissably full lips, which at the moment, were curling in a knowing smirk.

“So, you wanted to interview me?” she prodded gently. 

 _Fuck_ , even her _voice_ was sexy smooth!  _Shit shit shit_ , _the red light’s on, the camera’s rolling!  You have to talk!_   Clarke cleared her throat.  Her voice cracked at first, but then firmed up.  “What an impressive run, Lexa!  How does it feel to be the first female qualifier through to the city finals, and with the fastest time so far tonight?”

Clarke angled the mic toward Lexa for her reply.  She almost groaned aloud when Lexa leaned closer to speak into it and she caught her scent, a heady combination of Lexa’s shampoo and deodorant mixed with the musky tang of her body.  “Well, uh—what’s your name?” she said warmly.

“Clarke.  Clarke Griffin.”  Clarke had almost forgotten. 

“Well, _Clarke_ ,” Lexa said, putting light emphasis on her name, “I feel great.  I had so much fun on the course, and I’m really looking forward to the city finals and maybe moving on to Vegas.”

Clarke watched her lips move as she answered and wondered how they would feel on her skin…gliding slowly between her breasts…brushing feather-soft kisses up her thigh and _just_ over her clit and… _oh God_.  She clenched the mic in a death grip and realized Lexa had finished speaking and was looking at her expectantly.

“Right!  Congratulations, and I— _we!_ —wish you all the best in Vegas.  Back up to you, Matt and Akbar,” Clarke stumbled through her closing comment and switched off the mic.  

Lexa just stood there, a hand on one hip.  “You ok there?” she asked smugly, fully aware of the effect she was having on Clarke.  

Lexa’s cocky tone awakened Clarke’s self-respect.  _You’re Clarke goddamn Griffin.  You have your own show.  You won an award for Best TV Kiss, for fuck’s sake!  You know you’re attractive, fucking act like it!_   She drew to her full height and looked Lexa in the eye.  “Yeah, I’m fine.”

Lexa smirked and offered Clarke her water bottle.  “You sure?  You look a little thirsty.”

Clarke nearly rolled her eyes at Lexa’s cheeky line and decided to give it right back to her.  She accepted the bottle and tipped her head back to take a long pull.  The long muscles of her throat bobbed as she swallowed, and when she lowered the bottle she saw that Lexa’s eyes had darkened considerably and her gaze was fixed on Clarke’s mouth.  Clarke swiped her tongue over her lower lip to catch a stray droplet before it dribbled down her chin.  She sensed a little tremor in Lexa’s breathing at the motion.  _Gotcha_.  She looked up at Lexa through lowered lashes and said softly, “Thanks.”  She deliberately grazed Lexa’s finger with her own as she handed back the water bottle. 

Lexa’s smile seemed a lot less smug now.  Clarke’s confidence grew and an answering smirk blossomed on her own face.  “You know,” she said casually, “you _were_ really badass out there, but I’m still a little disappointed.”

Lexa’s forehead creased in a question.  “Oh?  How so?”

Clarke stepped closer, into Lexa’s personal space.  Her eyes glittered and she murmured, just loud enough so that only Lexa could hear, “I didn’t get a chance to see you get wet.” 

Lexa’s face turned bright red.  She coughed, but quickly reclaimed her cool.  “That’s because I usually end up on top.  Of the platform,” she countered slyly.  She drifted so close she stood almost nose to nose with Clarke.   

Clarke bit the inside of her cheek with the effort of holding back a giggle.  “Mmm, you certainly seemed to get a rush out of finishing.”

Lexa’s lips twitched.  “Putting your hand on that buzzer is the best feeling in the world, but you have to work your way through the course first.”

“Oh?  Is that a challenge?” Clarke husked, barely containing her laughter. 

Lexa blinked, then a slow grin spread across her face.  “Yeah.  I dare you to try the course.”

“What’s in it for me?”

“If you get past the first obstacle, I’ll give you my number,” Lexa promised seductively.

Clarke hummed and said, “What if I make it past a second obstacle?”

Lexa brushed her cheek against Clarke’s and whispered in her ear.  “A kiss.”

Clarke shivered at the velvety slide of Lexa’s skin and dug her fingers into her own thigh to keep herself together.  “And a third?”

“Try it and find out.”

*********

“And we’re back with _American Ninja Warrior_!  Akbar, we’re about to see something that’s never happened on America Ninja Warrior!”  Matt was so overwrought he was about to lose his voice. 

“That’s right!  One of our contestants has challenged tonight’s guest host to take on the course!  Clarke Griffin, star of NBC’s new hit drama, _Don’t Fear the Reapers_ , is about to walk on!  I actually really like her chances, Matt.”

“She played collegiate volleyball, so she does have an athletic background.  And here she is, ready to take the course!”

Clarke stepped onto the platform and waved at the wildly cheering crowd.  She mustered a smile and bounced side to side to loosen up.  She masked a grimace at her ill-fitting exercise gear.  She’d had to cadge something to wear from wardrobe, and unfortunately, none of the other contestants were quite as curvy or well-endowed.  The tiny running shorts stretched tightly through her hips, and she was thankful for the Ninja Warrior promotional t-shirt because the only running bra that came remotely close to fitting her barely kept her breasts contained, much less supported.  She’d adjusted herself several times already, but now that she was onstage, she’d just have to hope everything stayed in place.

Clarke surveyed the first obstacle and took a deep breath as the timer counted down.  She’d felt bold when she accepted Lexa’s dare, but the butterflies in her belly were freaking out now that she was actually on the course.  She glanced nervously at the sideline and saw Lexa watching her intently.  She clapped and offered Clarke an encouraging smile, and some of Clarke’s anxiety eased just as the clock went off. 

She leaped to the first of the Floating Steps, gathered herself, and hopped to the next, and the next, taking her time.  The final one required her to grab a rope and swing to the last ledge.  She pushed off, but her momentum took her a little off course, and she had to swing back and forth several times before she could scrape enough of her toes on the platform to stick a landing.  Safely through the first obstacle, adrenaline working overtime, she threw her arms up in the air and whooped.

Lexa cheered and egged her on from the sidelines.  She was impressed and pleasantly surprised to see Clarke survive the first obstacle.  She’d been a bit star struck herself when _Clarke Griffin_ appeared to interview her after her run—because despite her little pretense, she knew perfectly well who the sexy actress was.  Seeing Clarke disintegrate into a puddle of lust before her eyes had been quite the ego boost, but it had been even more of a turn on when Clarke started flirting back.  She’d always intended to give Clarke her number, anyway—what fool wouldn’t?—since she hadn’t really expected Clarke to finish an obstacle.  But now that she had, Lexa was avidly rooting for her to make it through the next one so she could claim her second prize. 

Clarke shook out her burning arms and stepped up to the Log Grip.  She clutched the log as tightly as she could, dug in her heels, and pushed off.  Her grip started to slip after the first drop; her legs began sliding off after the second; but she gritted her teeth and held on just long enough to drop safely onto the landing pad.  She bounced to her feet with a scream and punched one fist in the air.  She spotted Lexa on the sideline and gave her a triumphant look.  The audience howled with delight, and Matt and a giddy Akbar led them in a fierce chant of “ _Grif-fin, Grif-fin!”_

Lexa pounded on the mat near her.  “Come on, Clarke, you’ve got this!” she urged.  She watched Clarke summon her determination, jump onto the trampoline, fling her arms and legs out to wedge herself in the Jumping Spider…and miss.  Her feet slipped out from under her, and she splashed into the pool below.  She rose spluttering from the water, and this time it was Lexa’s turn to be dumbstruck. 

Water sluiced down Clarke’s face and body as she stood up.  She tilted her head back and slicked her hair away from her face.  She waded through the waist-deep water and boosted herself up and over the edge and onto the sideline.  Lexa’s fingers convulsed involuntarily and she heard herself actually whimper out loud, because _fucking hell_.  Clarke’s tiny shorts were plastered to her ass like a second skin, and her white t-shirt... _God_ , her white t-shirt clung tightly to her boobs and Lexa could see _everything_ , right down to her nipples, puckering to tight peaks in the night air’s chill.    

Clarke sauntered up to Lexa, her wide grin matching the one on Lexa’s face.  The audience was still cheering wildly; Akbar was squawking with amazement and trying to revive a completely overcome Matt; but all of that noise faded to the background as the two women came together.    “That’s two obstacles.  Where’s my prize?” Clarke said mischievously.

“A deal’s a deal,” Lexa agreed.  She cupped the back of Clarke’s neck with one hand and lowered her lips to Clarke’s.  Clarke’s lips were warm and eager against hers, and Lexa quickly swirled her tongue and licked into Clarke’s mouth to deepen the kiss.  Clarke’s hand came up to grip her elbow and hold her close, and the pleased little noises in her throat made Lexa gasp and clench around nothing.  She broke away with a pant.

“You don’t have to be disappointed any more, Clarke,” Lexa whispered in her ear, “you totally got me wet.” 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to hit me up on tumblr at [barbieliberationarmy](https://barbieliberationarmy.tumblr.com/).


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